A Night of Angst
by SoapNanny
Summary: AU Jolu...one shot! He made a mistake, can she get over it?


Hey Guys! So I was totally feeling feisty today and couldn't get all of this angst out of my head so here is a new one shot.

It's completely AU Jolu

A Night of Angst

"I can't believe you would sit there and lie to my face Johnny" Lulu said in anger.

"I'm telling you the truth lulu, I never slept with her. I love you. You are the one that I want. Forever" He said with such passion. Lulu was speechless; she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do or what she should feel right now.

Johnny cheated on her, she found out that he had gotten close to a girl at work and no matter how much she didn't like it and voiced her opinion on the matter, he didn't seem to care.

Johnny knew that he didn't care about Jen, at least not the way he cared about Lulu. Lulu was his life, his everything. Not to mention the love of his life, his wife and the mother of his children.

Right when Lulu was about to argue with him some more she heard the cry of their son in his crib. "We'll have to talk about this later, our son needs to know at least one of us cares about this family." She said sadly as she walked away.

Johnny knew he deserved her attitude, but he wasn't going to let her push him away. He walked into Brady's nursery and watched as his amazing wife cradled their sweet 6 month old in her arms.

"Lulu, you know that I care about this family. I love you and our children more than my own life. I know that you're hurting right now and I get it if you want me to leave. But please baby, just let me explain. I love you baby, please let me stay." He said as he walked closer to them. Johnny pushed lulu's hair behind her ear and just stared at her while she was trying to avoid eye contact with him. He wiped the tear from her cheek and she turned away from him.

"Johnny, I can't do this right now. I have to feed Brady and go pick up Emily from dance class, all while trying to pretend that my marriage isn't over." She said while walking out of the room.

"What are you talking about?" Johnny started yelling as he followed her into the kitchen. Brady started crying because of the volume of Johnny's words."Shh, it's okay buddy..." Johnny said as he reached for Brady and took him from lulu's hold. "It's okay baby, Daddy's just talking to mommy. It's okay."

Lulu turned from them and started making Brady's bottle while she was wiping the tears falling from her eyes.

"Lulu, please don't say our marriage is over. You know that's not true. We both love each other, and as mad at me as you are right now I believe that you still want to be with me. At least I'm hoping you do." He went to touch her arm and she turned away once again.

"Listen here zacchara, you do NOT get to stand here and tell me how I feel. I just found out TODAY that you were having a hot make out session with your secretary and I don't really give a crap why it happened. What we had is gone, it's forever tainted and while I deal with my feelings I also have to continue raising your children." She spoke with anger in her voice. "Now, do you want to stay here to feed and bathe Brady or go get Emily because you either need to help me right now or get out!"

"Lu, I'll help you...I'll do whatever you want. We just need to talk about this at some point. Baby, I love you please know that." He said with watery eyes as he took the bottle from her hand and went to feed Brady.

Lulu got in her car, took a deep breath and started bawling. How could he do this to them? How could he develop some sort of feelings for this woman so much that it didn't bother him what he'd be doing to his family if he kissed her.

"Mommy! I missed you!" Emily screeched when lulu walked into the dance studio.

"Hi baby, I missed you too. You looked so pretty dancing, did you have fun today?" She asked her gorgeous 3 year old.

"I did mommy, is daddy at home? I want to show him my new dance." She said with such pride in her voice.

"Yes daddy's at home, let's go see him." She said as she picked Emily up.

While lulu was about to put her daughter into her car seat, she just hugged her as tight as she could.

"Mommy, why are you sad? You have sad eyeballs today." She stated so honestly.

"Yes baby, I have sad eyeballs" she said as she laughed and kissed her kid's forehead. "I love you Emily Maria Zacchara!

"On the way home lulu decided that this precious little girl that her and Johnny had made out of their love, deserved parents who were happy. She didn't know what needed to happen to get to that point again, but after the kids were in bed tonight they would start.

"Daddy, Daddy. Where are you?" Emily shouted as soon as they walked in.

"I'm giving Brady a bath baby girl, come into the bathroom." He said as steady and non-emotional as he could.

Lulu followed Emily into the bathroom and was caught off guard to what she saw. The water was drained and Brady was sitting on Johnny's lap who also had Emily's hands around his neck and he was sobbing into their daughter's hair.

"I'm so sorry baby girl, I love you so much. I love you, Brady and momma so much I'm so sorry." He was uncontrollable at this point.

Lulu knew she had to do something so she didn't break down as well.

"Em, come on...let's go get your jammies on then you can show daddy your dance before bed okay?" She said as she pulled Emily away from Johnny. "Do you need me to take him?" She mumbled to Johnny about Brady.

Johnny nodded yes before she bent down to pick up her baby snuggled in his towel. "Lu, I'm sorry" He whispered as she began to walk away.

Lulu turned back around to look at her broken husband on their bathroom floor.

"Johnny, Emily has a dance to show you. Can you meet us upstairs in a few minutes please?"

Johnny knew she didn't want an answer, that was her telling him to get himself in order so the kids didn't see him fall apart again. He didn't mean to lose it like that, but when he saw the joyous face of his little girl he just imagined the look of sadness that would be on that beautiful girl soon and it was all his fault. Lulu was rocking Brady to sleep when she heard Johnny walk into Emily's room.

"Wow, you look so pretty princess. Let me see your new dance!" He said with forced excitement.

"Okay, look daddy I'm a real ballerina!" She said as she floated around the room, making Johnny laugh.

"You are doing such a good job baby girl. It's time for bed though, come on I'll tuck you in." He said as he scooped her up and put her in the pink and purple decorated bed.

"Daddy, everything's gonna be okay. Just tell mommy that you love us and you'll be a nice boy. We love you too daddy, it's gonna be okay." She said full of wisdom as she kiss her dad on his cheek.

Johnny just stood up, told her he loved her and backed out of the room before she could see the tears welling up in his eyes again.

After Lulu put Brady to sleep she was about to go into her daughters room when she saw Johnny coming out and closing the door while he was wiping his eyes. She knew she should've just gone downstairs but she couldn't handle seeing her love in so much pain. She put her arms around his shoulders from behind, causing him to turn around into her embrace and hugged him tight.

They clung to each other, whispering how much they loved one another with tears going down both their faces. "Baby, I'm so sorry...I just can't lose you. I can't lose my family." He said as he cried into her neck.

"I don't doubt that you love us Johnny. I never have. Come on, let's go talk..." She turned to go downstairs and he caught her arm and pulled her back to him. "I can't lose you baby." He whispered as he kissed her forehead and hugged her again.

She pulled away after a few seconds and led him downstairs so they could talk about everything. She went into the kitchen to open a glass of wine because she knew she would need something during this conversation.

They sat on the couch a seat away from each other and neither of them really knew where to start.

"Okay we have to start somewhere, so tell me...Has this ever happened before?" She was trying so hard to not cry but the tears were nearing the surface quickly.

"No, lulu. Never, I've never done anything like this with her or anyone else. It didn't mean anything and I know I'll never do it again." He said with certainty.

"Johnny, what was so different about today then? Why did I walk into your office and see you kissing Jen on your desk? God! I can't even think about it without wanting to throw up" She said as she scooted further away from him.

"Baby, it wasn't what it looked like. I mean it was, I was kissing her but it's not like we're having this big affair or anything. We've been working long hours together and having a good time but I don't feel anything for her. I love you."

"Okay maybe this wasn't a good idea, I can't talk about it. I just want to yell and scream at you about everything you just said." She said with tears down her cheeks." I don't know if we can fix us Johnny. I don't know if I can trust that you won't do it again."

"But you CAN Lulu! I'll never do it again. I'll quit my job if I have to baby, anything you want." He said as he reached for her hand.

"Johnny, be realistic. You can't quit your job, because even if you did I would always be wondering if you would end up kissing or even more with the next woman you work with. It's trust Johnny…it's the trust that seven years together has made us have in each other and now it's gone. I love you, I do. I probably always will but I just don't know how to fix what I'm feeling." She said sadly while holding his hands.

"Lulu, I know that I screwed up okay. I know that, but how can you sit there and say that we can never have what we did before. Do you even realize all the tragic things we've overcome together? Baby, we've been through so much and I'm just not willing to let it all go just because I royally messed up. I'll regret that day for the rest of my life, but please I'm begging you…Let me make it up to you."

"Johnny, you kissed another woman and you probably would've done more if I hadn't walked in. It makes me wonder if you have been wanting other people for a long time, am I not enough for you? Have you just been with one person for too long?" She said while crying and stood up to walk towards the kitchen.

"You ARE enough, you are everything. I'm so sorry baby; I never want you to think that I'd ever want someone else more than you. Look, she was out of line when she kissed me and I screwed up when I didn't stop it. I bet she's already resigned or switched offices by now because everyone knows that YOU are my girl." He stood up and followed her to the kitchen.

"I think it might be best if you stayed in the guest room tonight, I can't sleep in the same bed as you right now. We can figure out more tomorrow but Brady will be awake in a few hours and I need to get some sleep." She said while walking upstairs.

"Lulu, I love you. You are the woman for me and I'll do whatever you want me to do, to prove to you that YOU are the one that I want. If I have to sleep in the guest room for months I don't care, as long as you give me second chance." He called up stairs.

Lulu walked into their bathroom and got into the shower before she broke down into hysterics. She really didn't know what to do, how to ever trust him again. There were a lot of things going through her head but the thing she just couldn't stop thinking about was the fact that she could not live without Johnny Zacchara being her husband. She knew that all of her ill feelings wouldn't just go away if she decided to work on forgiving him, but she had to try.

Johnny was in their bedroom getting his pajamas to take to the guest room when Lulu walked out of the bathroom in her robe.

"Sorry, I'm almost done getting what I need in here." He said not making eye contact with her.

Lulu couldn't handle hurting him any longer. She loved this man and even though they had a long while before they got back to where they were, she had to start now.

Lulu walked up to him and cupped his face, "I love you Johnny Zacchara. I'm not over it and it'll probably take me a while but this family doesn't exist without you." She said as she kissed him passionately on his lips.

Johnny wasn't going to question what was happening because it was his dream come true, his amazing wife in his arms again.

They pulled apart and just stared into each other's eyes. They both knew this wasn't going to be easy, but they had too much to lose to give up.

"I love you so much baby, and I won't make you sorry that you gave me another chance." He said as he kissed her again sweetly and held her tight.

"Let's go to bed my love, I need you to show me just how grateful you are to have me!" She laughed as they went to bed that night making new promises to each other.


End file.
